Called the hospital to inquired if my mother’s neighbor was admitted and the lady confirmed he was. This is the neighbor that was taken by ambulance on Thursday but whose family we could not reach since they no longer had a home phone.
We paid him a visit this evening; he was sitting in a recliner and looked as he normally does, but quiet. What struck me most was how tired his daughter looked. She said her sister had spent the night so today was her turn to do so. I asked about her other siblings and she said that since they lived out of town they so no need to drive to Del Rio unless “he was really sick”. Mom’s neighbor had 10 children but only his two younger girls live in town.
His wife died last year after not wanting to undergo anymore dialysis treatments. Doctors had given her one month to live but she lived three (if you can call that living) but at least Mr. C helped them take care of her. Again none of their siblings even offered to help or even came to look after her. Ten kids and only two did right by their mother. Things are looking the same as far as caring for their dad.
Susie, the daughter that lives with Mr. C is a single parent and has an 8-year and a 20-year-old daughter. Cherry, her younger sister is married and has two children not older than 5 years old. They like many are part of the sandwich generation, that is taking care of their families while having to take care of mom or dad and in some cases both parents.
Mr. C has dementia but it has gotten worst since he was hospitalized. His doctor told them he will have to refer them to a neurologist in San Antonio and they just do not know how they are going to do that when they have jobs and families here to take care of.
I know this is not the happiest of posts but it is a situation many of us baby boomers are facing or will face sometime in the future.
Good night and may you have Terlingua dreams.
Sadly your comments about Mr. C's kids and family is more the norm these days . You are a special person to check up on him, he may not express that he's glad you came by , but I bet somewhere in the recesses of him mind he's happy!! You get a gold start in your book that the Big Guys keeps.
ReplyDeleteMy best wishes go out to Mr.C. Good on you, as a non-family member to show compassion for your neighbor.
ReplyDeleteAnother 100 years and old people (over 50) will be placed in a chamber destined to some unnamed planet in another solar system.....forgotten forever by family, friends and acquaintances.
I'm doing the opposite,once my Mom is gone. I,m gonna disappear from my family.
ReplyDeleteBen, when I asked him if he knew who I was, he said yes you are Mrs. X's daughter and he recognized mom as well. He held my hand for a long time.
ReplyDeleteHis daughter said he has times when he is lucid and others when he has no idea who they are.
BB, I think they don't have to send us to another solar system. Many have been forgotten by family, friends and acquaintances right here on earth.
ReplyDeleteRedEyeMule I think you got the right idea.
ReplyDeleteSo sad. We took care of my parents while they were sick, and finally, dying. At the end, they were both in a hospice center. We were with them 24/7 until they died. The hospice staff said our family was very unusual, because most of the time, a family will come and spend an hour or so a day, or not even show up...and people just die alone..
ReplyDeleteSo I think you are a wonderful person, spending this time with a neighbor who is not even related to you. This is how it should be for all mankind.
Terry
Glad you were there for your parents till the end Terry and I'm sure it was also a great comfort for them to have their children by their side.
ReplyDelete